Dairy Milk

All I wanted

Was to see you again,

And know that you were alright.

Not with my broken soul but with

A whole one. 

To embrace you again

And to feel no claws in me

Unable to let go.

To see your eyes,

The colour of dairy milk

Show me light. Tell me peace.

No, you left. And took that

Part of me with you.

Took our peace,

And never gave it back.

You used words to damn me to hell

and forced them

down my throat.

Ran off to the horizon before

I’d caught my breath.

You never gave me a moment

or perhaps I didn’t take it.

You broke me and my heart,

Which never break at once

But you found a way, you bastard 

Damn you.

You knew how I perched

On a fence and preened,

You wanted me in your garden

To lock me in your shed

And come to look at me whenever you fancied. 

To feed me scraps

And expect a full meal.

I’ll admit this thing which would turn you now

but you always knew,

I did love you.

Not the love you wanted, no.

The love you needed and never got.

The love that never gave a Windsor Knot

But instead would straighten it.

I still trip on your curses

They fuck up my verses

But my memories of our joy

However fleeting,

Will ground my clumsy feet.