Contingencies

She started screaming today.She’s normally soquiet and shesits at the back but today shemade a run for it.She burst the windows open andgrabbing at the ledge shelet me have it into mybones witha gutturalroar I felt in my ownthroat as sheran her nails in between myribsand filled up my lungswith the air she’dbeen saving upContinue reading “Contingencies”

Cost of Living

I feel my weight as I walklatelyI’ve noticed my neckwaits for my feetlatelymy channels don’t surfin my watebutlately I see thatI saw this coming. My numbers don’t match withmy pagesright now andI’ve heard it’s a massalonenessright nowno one is special butespeciallynot nowI should have knownnot to complain. I’m constantly lookingbehind me back thereandI’m drowning indaysContinue reading “Cost of Living”

Double Cleansing

It seems that I end each day as I start it.In preparation.In front of this mirror Ipaint my face to prepare for whateverwar I trip into that day andlate at night I wash it all offto allow it tobreathe.As if I’ve not taken a gasp all dayI wipe andwash andscrub to atone for suffocating myselfContinue reading “Double Cleansing”

Bus Change

There’s comfort in knowingthat I know your words.And I do hear you fromtime to time butnow, now your voice is oftencoming through my ownvibration.I suppose that’s what happenswhen it’s been a littlewhile.I’ll go therest of my hopefullylongish or longenough lifereciting yourgems and boasting yourwisdoms andI’ll sound just like the others thatramble on about someoneno oneContinue reading “Bus Change”

Home Less

Not home,it’s not home.My home doesn’t exist buteven whatlittle part doesis not thepart I am in.This is not it,the arena is notmine nor is thisarmour.Currentlyas it is,I’m less a homeand owed oneI think butnot sure from whom.This sceneis seenfrom adream thatI refuse to stophaving.I’ve never feltmore athomethen lookingthrough thatscreen. My own doors arekeylessand keys arelessContinue reading “Home Less”

Hello

I want more friends.But I don’t want people.People are trickyand trickless am Ior at leastmy bag isn’t as big as theirs. I feel I should havemore friendsto say hello to.To say hello back.But I can onlycare about so manyhellos andI fear I’ll reach my limit. I don’t want theirsmall talks andtheir large liveswith their leashedContinue reading “Hello”

Phantom Pains

That used to be me down there.Loud friends, loud stumbles,loud lives, loud problemsbut a soft understandingit’s fine.And we were fine.Fine expires, you know.This and thatand the friends moveon andontop of life isno longer your normal,normalizing problems isyour new crusade, notcrusading for the sake of it. I suppose it’s a usualthing to be stood here,looking down,Continue reading “Phantom Pains”

Butter and Coffee

I’ve known sorrowand pain.Regretand misfortune frequentmy alreadydarkened doorway.I’ve lost my way andeventually stumbledhalf conscious onto a new path.In my short(ish) timeon this planeI’ve amassed acolourful collection ofgrievances but noneas steadfast in theirmorose agony asthis fucking hangover. No simple templeachenor shaky stomachbut an arranged marriage ofdespondent medication anda body that gave this life uplong before mybrainContinue reading “Butter and Coffee”

Cheap Cheese

Why would I?You keep asking likeit’s some sort of possibilitylike this is,was,and will bea good ideawhile it never used to be andwhile I don’t regret thatday,that time,that breath,I do regretwhatever I did that left you with theimpression that this could besomething other thanwhat it was,and hasn’t beenfor years. You could be looking at meright nowContinue reading “Cheap Cheese”